ome repetitive as people take each other for granted. The love may still be there but it is a less passionate, more platonic love; a familiar love. In the most negative instances this can lead to increasing unhappiness and frustration and ultimately, in the worst case scenario, infidelity and divorce. Even in the best cases, I will offer, it is less of a marriage than it could be. If you don't believe me, allow me to refresh your memory a little. I am now talking to women who are married or who were married before. Remember when you were first dating? Remember how accommodating your future husband was and how all his desires were directed at you? Think back... Remember how he was so sweet and kind. Remember how he used to bring you flowers or little gifts? He would do whatever you wanted to do and go wherever you wanted to go. Do you remember what it was like, how exciting it all was? Remember your wedding day, and the love and romance of your honeymoon? Remember that? Remember how much you loved him then? Let me ask you this. Has it changed? If so, what do you think changed? Of course once you got married, your day-to-day interactions will almost always have changed, become more domestic. Maybe relatives or in-laws took more of your time and in many cases children entered the mix. Regardless of this evolution, almost certainly your husband’s attitude changed, didn't he? 1.Did he tend to ignore you? 2.Did more and more often something become a fight and/or an argument? 3.Did he become a little more selfish? 4.Did he start to disrespect you in private or maybe even in public? 5.Maybe he started to hang around his friends again or he watched television all the time or he played video games or he surfed the web continuously. 6.Did he become absorbed with work and work related activities? 7.Did he start to refuse to go with you to visit your friends and family? 8.Did he refuse to go with you shopping or to the places that he once loved to go along with you just to be near you? 9.Did the flowers and gifts stop? 10.Maybe he became cheap and tight with money? 11.Then there is the sex. Sex used to happen anywhere or anytime, used to last all night and be so exciting. Now, has it become boring, predictable and fast? Perhaps you have asked your self, what happened to the passion? What happened to the romantic guy that you were dating? While it is unlikely that all of the above symptoms apply in your particular circumstance, I’m sure virtually every married woman will be able to point to some of the above as prevalent in her marriage. There seems a sad inevitability in all this. Most wives assume that this is the natural course of marriage like the erosion of a rock by a river or the fading of paint in the sunlight. Love has its seasons, as John Gray reminds us in “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus”. It's folly to expect eternal springtime, perpetual romance. Most marriage counselors would agree. Divorce attorneys can be even more pragmatic. They know that once the cancer of disaffection has spread, the damage is almost always irreversible. <a href="http://results.datingdelightfulgirls.com/w/Gay/Dating/Delightful/Girls/Dating/Delightful/Girls/Dating/Delightful/Girls/nl/1">What if?</a> But what if it's not necessarily true? What if love can be rekindled, even the all-consuming passion of first love? And not rekindled briefly, for just a season, but “ever after,” creating that fairytale future couples dream about when saying their vows? As you ask yourself the above questions, think about how exciting and fulfilling your life and your relationship could be if this were possible. Well, the answer is that it can be exactly like this if this is what you want. This is not fantasy. This is not theory. The wisdom I share is based on the experience of real wives in a variety of real marriages. This is an important point because as you read this, at first you may not believe it will work or think that it may work for someone else but not for you. If you are skeptical I can only urge that you set aside your skepticism long enough to read, understand, and experiment with the ideas we will discuss. You will be able to reduce your skepticism by taking small steps to gain confidence and satisfying yourself that what I say not only is true but that it does apply to your specific situation. The fact of the matter is that it is not the absence of love that grinds relationships downward towards tedious routine. Rather, it is a consequence of something that most couples leave behind when they become married: Courtship. Courtship was 15 or 16 years ago for my wife and me,” one husband eloquently testified. “Now that we are married, courtship seems a distant memory.” Consider also the following excerpt from a recent letter to an advice columnist Dear Ann Landers: I have been married for three years, and my husband and I recently had a baby boy. I adore being a mother, but lately, I've begun to have serious questions about my marriage. “All the romance and passion have dwindled to almost nothing. My husband and I can go for days without so much as a touch, and yet it doesn't seem to bother him. He used to be very affectionate, but it seems he's forgotten how. Whenever I try to make time for just the two of us, he is ‘too tired.’ I know he works hard, but I'm becoming frustrated and angry. I tried to talk to my husband about this recently and asked him, ‘Where did my romantic husband go? Have you seen him?’ He laughed and replied, ‘There is no need for romance after marriage. Guys just do that stuff to get a girl.” Anything sound familiar? So what exactly do we mean by courtship and how does it fit in? Courtship is the act of wooing in love, it is a man seeking the affection of a woman with intent to romance. By reviving courtship in your marriage you can discover new possibilities of love and passion that you had thought long lost. You can recreate the kind of passionate love in your marriage that you experienced when you were first dating your husband. Working together you can rekindle courtship. <a href="http://results.datingdelightfulgirls.com/o/Games/Dating/Delightful/Girls/nl/1">Essentials of Courtship</a> “Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.” Helen Rowland (1876-1950) To understand the essentials of courtship, you must consider the basic character of both men and women. Millions of years of evolution have produced creatures with certain fundamental and immutable characteristics. One of these is that all males have the hunter’s gene within them. They are the hunters, the pursuers, the competitors. Men have hunted and competed for everything throughout the ages from the haunch of a wild boar on the tropical plains of Africa to the possession of a pigskin on a gridiron. Of course one of the greatest prizes that men have always pursued is the affections and attentions of women. Thus, women can be seen as the prize for which men compete, they are the pursued. Men will work to overcome all manner of obstacles in order to successfully gain their prizes. The gaining of the prize itself though is not always what it seems. Men do not value or respect that which they have won too easily. While prehistoric man would indeed hunt slower, tamer animals for food, it was the hunt of the more ferocious carnivorous animals that would dominate the folklore and lend itself to the creation of art & ornamentation drawn from the slain animals’ remains. Likewise no modern professional football player would value an easily gained victory against a local amateur team. It is the hard-fought victory over equal or preferably even greater odds that has value. In a similar vein, the woman who offers herself too quickly and too easily to men is seldom respected or valued. Many women would no doubt be familiar with acquaintances in their school years who would willingly and eagerly have sex with numerous young males, so-called “easy lays”. These young women would invariably find themselves not respected or highly valued by the men who would so readily partake of her sexual favours. Therefore we can see that men will value the prize that they pursue in direct proportion to the amount of effort necessary to achieve that particular goal. It is also obvious then that the effort that a man is willing to expend will increase according to the value of the prize he is pursuing. Bringing ourselves back to our courting discussion we can now see that in order for a man to win the prize of his lady, he must expend effort. In most cases a great deal of effort. As discussed the more effort he must expend, the greater will be his perception of the eventual prize. Thus when seeking that most wondrous of prizes, a female’s attention, men are willing to expend prodigious amounts of effort. This is essentially what we see in the dating/ courting phase of male/female relationships. So when we now consider the dating behaviour exhibited by your husband that we discussed at the beginning of this article we see that he was engaged in a chase with your attentions and affections as the prize. For a male there is no greater symbol of the winning of that chase than that of achieving a sexual relationship with his desired woman. Thus as we can see male sexual desire is, stimulated by challenge. Yes, that's right. The greater the challenge, the greater the sexual desire. No wonder then that marriage becomes stale. When your husband no longer has to pursue you for sex he loses passion. Your desire for his attention only leads to frustration and disappointment for both of you. Returning to the concept of courtship, we can now see that effort is an essential element of courtship. A man does not pursue that which he already has. This is the key concept in the loss of courtship in most marriages. Too many marriages proceed on the assumption that the romance has been won, the prize awarded, the chase ended. The most tangible attribute of the romance, sex, may be fun and enjoyable but much of the passion is robbed by the certainty of sex in marriage. The key to rediscovering courtship in marriage is to withdraw the certainty of the consummated romance. This simple idea leads in all sorts of interesting and exciting directions. The purpose of this article is to explore some of these, to point you in the direction of others and to enable you to rediscover courtship in your marriage and thereby bring back that excitement and passion that has been diminished or lost. As we move forward in this discussion, I would like all my female readers to understand this is not a one sided campaign. This is fun. F-U-N fun! Whatever you do, both you and your husband will do it together because both of you want to make it happen. You and your husband can really add new dimensions to your marriage and turn each day into a new page in an ongoing novel of romantic play. <a href="http://results.datingdelightfulgirls.com/f/Dating/Delightful/Girls/nl/1">An Object of Worship</a> We are all attracted to people who exhibit self-confidence. This is only natural. Courtship is, more than anything else, an act of adoration. To be courted you must summon the self-confidence to expect and demand his adoration, to become the object of his desires. Easier said than done, right? Well, not by much. The only difficult step, it turns out, is to decide with absolute and unswerving sincerity that your goal is to be worshiped by your husband. We'll discuss how later but for now, you only must dedicate yourself to that goal. That is not to say that you will measure your self-esteem by your husband's attention. Rather, you will not accept anything less from your husband than outright worshipful adoration. Understand that you are worthy of his adoration by the very fact that you are married. You need no further justification than that. You are his wife therefore he should adore you. You have, within you, an erotic potential. That potential was not lost with your youth. It is there still waiting to be reawakened. You must reawaken it within yourself. To become the object of his worship you must learn to comfortably